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miZs jOhNsOn
21 August 2009 @ 08:38 pm
yo! long time, i know. kinda sorta forgot about livejournal, my b!

anyways- new, let's see...what's new?

um, no more baby mama drama. that bitched calmed down, i mean- what choice did she have? she wasn't gettin' anywhere with what she was doing. i don't see her much anymore, she got her job back at waffle house *cough* great job, and ummm that's where she is 24/ 7. hallelujah! brandon's a lot nicer now that she isn't stuck up his ass everytime i see him.

work still sucks a dick. i've been getting more hours- all at the wrong time! i have gall stones which i've went to the hospital twice for and i've had multiple attacks BUT! can't have the removal surgery until i get some damn insurance- WHICH I CAN'T DO WHEN I WORK ALL DAY, 5 DAYS A WEEK! it's impossible. ugh! that shit hurts like hell too! omg! it's worse than having a baby. the pain is almost not tolerable. loracets kinda help =/

briana is crawling and pullig herself up on stuff now. makes me kinda sad, i like her being a baby. i  can love on her and she don't care. when she starts walking she'll run from me =[ she's still a good baby.
listening to: a skylit drive- prelude to a dream
miZs jOhNsOn
28 May 2009 @ 08:07 pm

"why do i feel so alone?"


worked everyday this week// ugh. had to go to court for this guy that stole some crap from food lion, it was terrible. i was having a heartattack, lol. i was so nervous, i had never been in a court room before. don't plan to go back either. haha.

finally a day off tomorrow, hallelujah. that damn store is getting the best of me. i am so tired everyday. all i do is run back and forth all day. jamarious fails to understand that my job is VERY tiring. mentally & physically. i'm being called all day long to do odds & ends and when i get the chance to just sit down, i don't want to get up. he does one steady job all day so he has NO idea.


ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. finish later.

miZs jOhNsOn
24 May 2009 @ 02:57 pm
soO, found a new dance craze- "jerkin". it's kinda retarded but it's growing on me. lol. it looks completely stupid. like slow motion ballet. it's the east coast version of "turkin", which looks alot more in the norm. look that shit up on youtube. the music is HOTT. i love it. i love the simple beats and the lyrical compilations.

yesterday wasn't too happening but, today has been better. we went and ate at cici's. yUmMy! love their brownies, omg.

don't really have much to say. nothing spectacular or interesting happening. work, work, & more work.

ah--- gone to be productive. nigga.
mood: contentcontent
listening to: ryan leslie- gibberish.
miZs jOhNsOn
19 May 2009 @ 07:24 pm

so, i've came to the conclusion that- she's just envious. jealous of the life i lead now. jealous of the fact that i destroyed her boyfriend for her. i made him & she's TRYING to ruin my life because she thinks she can get me back.

right now i'm uploading photo's to myspace. i took some really cute one's of briana the other day. sabra doesn't let me take pictures of her, and when she does she blinks and the pictures suck.

tune has friends over. they're being excessively loud, as usual. when a group of boys get's together, they can not shut up.

....& they talk shit about us girls. losers.

well, i think i MIGHT find something productive to do...probably won't, probably just waste another damn afternoon.

mood: blahblah
miZs jOhNsOn
11 May 2009 @ 06:00 pm
miss briana azure. my 5 month old.

Tags: , , ,
located in: kitchen.
mood: contentcontent
listening to: tune making beats.
miZs jOhNsOn
11 May 2009 @ 05:04 pm
q. do ever do anything that you swore you wouldn't do when you were younger?
a. hell yes. have kids. i have 2. i also said i'd never settle down, lol. i lied. i'm settled right now i do believe.

so, mother's day was not as bad as i expected. plus, i was really upset when i wrote that last entry. i got a card & phone cover from tune, a rug made by sabra, and a rose & poem with a footprint by bb.

right now i'm at the kitchen table eating some delicious hamburger helper. yes, i love that stuff. only the cheeseburger macaroni kind though. the others aren't too good.

i enrolled the girls in a new daycare today. finally. it's like 2 minutes from the house & 5 minutes from work. it's cheaper & closer. what more could i ask for?

i got in an argument with sabra's daddy's girlfriend yesterday. her name is star & she just turned 18. she's very immature & thinks she can play mommy. she basically runs him. she took it upon herself to tell him it was time to take sabra home yesterday & we weren't even home. they didn't let me know they were on their way or anything, they ASSUMED we were home & when they found out we weren't she felt like a complete idiot & got mad at me. i was laughin' like hell. when she informed me that they were almost at my house i said "okay, leave her on the porch" being COMPLETELY sarcastic & she text back & said "what? i'm not leaving her by herself." i never laughed so hard. do you seriously think i'd want you to leave my 2 year old on my porch? lmao. i'll NEVER forget that. never.

anyways, the point of that story--- now brandon wants to act like he wants more to do with sabra just to piss me off i guess. he only gets her 2 days out of the week & he suddenly tells me today that he wants her for 3. lol. i didn't want to have to go to it but, we'll end up going to court. i'll end up getting custody of her & he'll get her every other weekend. just like my mom & my 2 sisters.
located in: kitchen.
mood: hungryhungry
listening to: dora the explorer. lol.
miZs jOhNsOn
08 May 2009 @ 06:17 am
so why does it seem that everything is suddenly crashing?

taking the girls to daycare this morning- the jeep cuts off. right in the middle of a fucking stop light, the ONE of TWO stop lights in this whole fucking town & probably the most busy. embarassed? beyond. i'm still shook up.

i shouldn't even get into yesterday but, i am.

so i bought tune a $100 pair of shoes that he's been dying to have. not just because i wanted to but, because his birthday is may 23rd and i knew he wanted those. i get this "why did you do that? you don't have any money. i don't know why you did that. blah blah blah....." so, i feel like a complete dumbass for buying them. i didn't expect him to be dissappointed & complain, not even a little bit. i expected him to be happy. ecstatic. i didn't even get a "thank you" or "oh, you didn't have to." i regret it.

expect the unexpected hm?

i should know better by now. i CAN'T do ANYTHING right. & when i try it never works, something is always wrong. ALWAYS. nothing is good enough. i'm questioned. i'm criticized.

mother's day is this weekend, i bet you i get NOTHING. not a card...nothing. watch.

i didnt get a damn thing last year. what makes this year any different?

i can't even think straight. i just want to lay in bed & cry. i want someone to comfort me. someone to talk to who understands.

not to mention, i have the lowest self-esteem of anyone in the world & i totally could have used the money i spent on those goddamn shoes to buy myself something. i could have paid to get my nails done [which always makes me feel prettier] or to go to the tanning bed for 2 or 3 months [because i REFUSE to wear shorts or skirts until i am TAN]. not because someone else wants me to but, because I want to.

"it's love, make it hurt." ---> i've always liked this song, more than anything, this quote. it's so perfect for me, it fits my life to the exact. this would be a good tattoo for me, it would have alot of meaning. love has hurt me my entire life. what do you think?

ugh...i've got to get ready for hell. yeah, that's be work.
mood: bitchybitchy
miZs jOhNsOn
03 May 2009 @ 06:51 pm

q. our friends don't always know us as well as they think, particularly when it comes to likes & dislikes. which popluar book, movie, band, food, tv show, etdc. would your friends be suprised to hear that you don't like?
a. well....i'm not big on anything that's considered "popular" i don't suppose. well, maybe lil wayne. but i like him so that doesn't count. skinny jeans? ew. EW. um, most can't believe that i don't do drugs. never have, never will. before you ask, NO, not even weed, not a single puff of a nasty ass cigarette either. i have asthma & allergies [& not this over the counter bullshit everyone claims to have], i was diagnosed as a child & have had to take prescription shots & medicine for like, EVER. the stench a cigarette give off is OMGewNASTY. get my point?

my day...

could have slept all morning but, didn't. attempted to sort through all the clothes that have made a home on my bedroom floor. i hate laundry, unless i'm in the mood to do it- & i was in the mood, just not for long. i'll finish up tomorrow since i have the day off.

got the speakers in the jeep hooked up, finally. andrew wouldn't answer his phone all day yesterday, which is when we were supposed to go get it done. the stock speakers that are in the doors are blown though so, it doesn't sound up-to-par.

i've been really tired lately, like, i can lay anywhere & fall asleep. idk why. i think i've been getting enough sleep. i usually sleep pretty good unless i get hot or have a bad dream. well, the baby too. she tends to want a bottle about an hour before it's time for the alarm clock to go off, which sucks cuz i can never get back into that deep of a sleep & sleep good.

hopefully i won't sleep in all morning tomorrow & i'll get a few things accomplished in this house, it's getting cluttered & trashy. i cleaned under the refridgerator yesterday- ew. ew. ew. But hey, it's clean now. I know noone else will see it but, i know it's clean.

i believe i am going to watch a movie- dead in 3 days.
located in: living room.
mood: crappycrappy
listening to: kristinia debarge- make a girl happy [THIS SONG SUCKS.]
miZs jOhNsOn
01 May 2009 @ 08:38 pm
q. robert frost speculated about the world ending in fire or in ice. which do you think is likely to end us all" meteorite, global warmining, nuclear weapons, zombies, or the super flu?
a. actually, as of right now, with this whole "swine flu" deal going on, a "super-flu" doesn't sound too bad. sounds like that could be it. some things can't be controlled. i mean, look at this whole swine flu epidimic-- it's in south carolina & it started in fucking mexico. you'd think they'd have a cure by now. nuclear war is also a possibilty. there's probably some countries that could fuck us up if they wanted to.

my day...weird. had a good day at work until it was time for me to leave. people are so inconsiderate. idk why i work for a fucking grocery store. you NEVER get off at your scheduled time. ya know, some of us have lives outside of food lion- i am one of those people. i need  a job where the schedule is acutally considered. i was so pissed when i left work today i probably could have strangled someone.

....then i pick the girls up from daycare & go through hell with sabra. she lays down in the hallway and pitches the biggest fucking fit for no reason. she cries all the way home. we later went to wal mart, where she was trying to get out the buggy after pitching a screaming fit & when tune went around a corner the buggy flipped, which caused my 4 month old & her carseat to come tumbling down. talk about a heart attack. then sabra has the nerve to throw her cup out of the buggy repeatedly. i slapped the shit out of her. she's getting worse & worse. partially because brandon will not discipline her.
[brandon is her dad, a dumbass.]

i saw this one stupid bitch today...the same stupid bitch that talked mad shit to me & about me while i was pregnant & now that i'm not she won't even look in my direction. i found out she fucked one of her BEST fucking friends over by stealing her boyfriend. what kind of friend is that? what kind of satisfaction does she get out of stealing/ trying to steal other women's men? i mean damn, if you can do it, whose to say tha next bitch won't do that shit to you? so damn stupid. she'll never learn. never. she's dumb as hell & fiends for the attention- so she's fucking herself. which is perfectly fine with me, since i wish someone would physically torture her dumbass & that's not gonna happen. if it does i don't have shit to do with it, lol.

i'm ready for a new tattoo, i'm at 5 right now. i want one on my ribs & one on my lower back or spine [can't decide]. i've had this film strip idea for a long while & with the help of a drawing my friend claire did, i might have a spine piece. we'll see.

i need a vacation...
located in: living room floor.
mood: crankycranky
listening to: -none-
miZs jOhNsOn
29 April 2009 @ 07:47 pm
 "shawty got that meanest step/ walked past & took my breath...."
- tune [my bf] is freestyling as i type...this line is what i gathered from it, lol.

today was gizzy-gay. like, work was really boreing. i worked 6:30am-3:00pm then had to go back for a random mandatory meeting at 7:00pm. basically, my manager explained to me, as well as all the other office feasts, that we need to take more authority in our jobs. we have more authority than we use. time to get tough.
- yes, i am an office assistant at food lion. during my shift i take care of the front end, basically things revolving around customer service & good customer experiences.

my sister is down here from VA, that's where my mom, dad, and 3 sisters live. she just moved up there in february after she graduated earlier. she's 18, has no life, no job, & is stuck up this stupid ass boy's ass. he's broke her heart more than once & she's just asking for it again, BEGGING for it.

i need to make a cleaning list for this house, my gosh. it's a mess. it's so cluttered. it's my mom's old trailor & she kind of just let it go for the past few years. the animal stench & cigarette smell is finally gone. it still doesn't smell "good" but it's okay. things nee to be replaced but, that takes money & that i do not have. not that i'm hurting, or we're hurting, but, i just don't have the extra to waste right now. i'm trying to keep at least a G in my bank account.

i'm tired.
located in: living room.
mood: blankblank
listening to: tune freestyling.